Sunday, May 22, 2011

I am slowly going crazy

So this will be of interest to absolutely no one. In fact it may stand to make me look a little crazy. I know that's hard to believe since I am such a sane, well balanced, and not at all hysterical type of person.

But so anyways...Every year I pull out a battered copy of this book called "102 Minutes: the Untold Story of the Fight to Survive Inside the Twin Towers." Let me just back up a minute and say it's a miracle that I'm reading again. Since Harper was born three years ago I can't stay focused long enough to finish a book. I don't mean that she interrupts me, I mean that I really, actually can't focus.

So jumping back into reading was kind of a slow process and it started out well--I reread some Jane Austen classics, I of course read some business-related books, I read some books my Dad gave me that were a wee more intellectual than Jane Austen classics. And let me back up some more and say, as an aside, that my Dad's reading collection intimidates me and I take the stacks of books he gives me, dutifully try to read them (sometimes succeeding), and then I get sidetracked by People Magazine and pretend that because his copy of "An American Tragedy" sits prominently on my coffee table that that's enough to convince people that I am not all about like, Twilight and stuff.

So back to the "102 Minutes" book. The book is about how ineffective safety planning, safety procedures, and safety codes were at the World Trade Center. And also it's the story of what happened inside the towers exclusively from the point of view of the people who escaped and from the loved ones who received phone calls and messages. Usually I skip over the technical parts about building codes and go straight to the stories of escape. So this year's go-round with the book was the first time I actually paid attention to the technical stuff.

Then I got on Netflix and watched every documentary related to 9/11. Then I went to the book store and bought:
"Wake-Up Call: The Political Education of a 9/11 Widow"
"The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11"
"The Ground Truth: The Untold Story of America Under Attack on 9/11"
"Inside 9/11: What Really Happened"

And you know what--three days later I've already blazed through two books. And here's the crazy. I've lost all self-control. Here's what I ordered online yesterday:

"Against All Enemies: Inside America's War on Terror"
"Plan of Attack"
"The 9/11 Commission Report"
"Watching the World Change: The Stories Behind the Images of 9/11"
"What We Saw: the Events of September 11, 2001--In Words, Pictures, and Video"
"After September 11th: New York and the World"
"Debunking 9/11 Myths: Why Conspiracy Theories Can't Stand Up to the Facts"

That's 8 books people. Oh but FYI--if you are looking for cheap books go to the Half-Priced Books website. Even with their crazy ridiculous shipping charges, these books were still just $5 each. Steal!

So there's the most simple explanation that I am riveted by all this information because it's interesting and I'm absolutely sure I will continue to bore you with details both here and in person. Also, I have a daughter and I'm scared about our national security so why not push my paranoia-inducing fear to the brink. Mom--remember when you sent Jill and I "emergency kits" in college which included disposable germ masks and you kept telling us to keep our gas tanks full in case we had to "get out of town"?

It wasn't in anyone's plan that I be normal or well-adjusted.

Finally, let me just say that if you're reading this, I know that you enjoy these posts. Oh sure, you love seeing my daughter, but I know you completely love seeing me become slowly unhinged.

So here's what you can do to help me. Give me a job. There are lots of you out there--maybe you know of some great administrative position in the area of arts, education, youth development, entrepreneurial awesomeness, or general bad-assness. Or, send me some money to go back to school. I'll set up a paypal account--you can donate anonymously and I promise it's okay to donate just because you feel kind of sorry for me and my mild pathetic-ness. Or if you need an architect, hire my personal slave and sole employee, Joshua Best. He'll do a bang-up job.

Finally, I am going to be an ace at 9/11 political background, national security facts and functions, conspiracy theories, timelines, minor and major tidbits of massive amounts of tragedy-related information. Surely this could be parlayed into some kind of lobbying, roundtable discussion, or being a professional party killer. Just remember, it's up to you. Not me. You. If I completely crack it's on your shoulders and I don't think you want to carry that burden for the rest of your lives.

And in closing, in case you are wondering, I would be returning to school for a Master's in Psychological Counseling. Irony? You decide.